LIFE CAN TAKE A U-TURN by Zarmin Gull
Sometimes, it is tragedy and mystery,
And other times, it is blooming to history.
Life is like a roller coaster, one second it reaches the height and exactly on the other second it goes downward. I decided to pen down my story when I thought there may be many people living their life miserably like I was living thinking GOD has no Plans for me. Many people who are living their lives as they want cannot take this in deep roots. I was a girl who wasn't allowed to go out, (Not because I was adopted or my parents didn't have trust in me) But, they were afraid to lose me. They were so afraid to lose me that they didn't even allow me to visit my best friend's place, thinking that there could be her brothers or anyone that can do any damage to me.
I always wanted to be free. I used to look at my older cousins with bright shiny eyes, who were studying in different cities living their independent lives. I did my junior level school, High school always knowing that I would not be able to live my life on my own terms. I used to live in my Fantasies. I used to sit in my drawing room (Just to be alone for sometime in my own fairy world) for hours with my course books pretending to study while doing no study at all. My parents crawled into all of my little and big life affairs where I just didn't need them. They did not give me freedom, freedom of thinking, freedom of going out, freedom of doing things that I liked, freedom to visit my friends, freedom to dress as I liked. There came a point when I felt not much love for them in my heart. Here's the tricky thing, they were so in love with me that they blurred the fact their daughter has a heart and a mind which wanted things to be as she likes. But I am not complaining. My parents were not doing it consciously. What I feel is they were so into me, always worried about me, that I was the one who got allergic to their attention. I didn't want that attention all the time. I wanted to be alone, I wanted to do things in my way, I wanted to be free. But they didn't let me do stuff I was interested in thinking that could harm me.
There were quarrels of thoughts and different views between me and them but I was never able to mention my thoughts and views to them because they loved me, as I was their daughter. But we were never as close as my other friends used to be with their parents. It is always said that Parents are always right. You should always listen to them. You must do whatever they suggest. Parents are right. Yes, they are right. Because they have experiences greater than those of us. But, when there's a communication gap and generation gap between both the parties, that's where things start getting messy and messier. Anyway, after my high school, I wanted to study further and my parents wanted the same for me. I never knew what I wanted to do with my life in terms of degree to show off to the world. My parents inculcated the idea in me since my birth, Our daughter will become a Doctor. So, me again blind folded had no other idea. As a fun fact, there was one medical college by then in my city and I didn't want to study in my own city. But yes!! What I knew, if I got an opportunity for a scholarship in college in another city, my parents might send me there. There was "MIGHT", I was not sure obviously because they never distant me from themselves
I got admission in the medical sciences. I got into the race and started working hard as I was a bright student already. I didn't use my cell phone for the whole 3 months. There were only 2 things I used to do, study and pray to God. I prayed to God all the time in those 3 months during my preparation. I forgot to eat and sleep. What I only knew was, I got to take admission In Lahore (the other city and largest city). I only knew that only this time can heal all my bad times. I wanted to go to Lahore so badly that I didn't know any other thing. I used to pray to GOD in the middle of the night by saying "Please God! Please get me admission in Lahore" I just wanted to get out of there. The annual test time arrived and I was so happy when I got out of the examination hall. There was a smile of satisfaction on my face. I was so damn sure of my victory. Results came out on the same evening and I failed. Yesssss!! I FAILED. I DIDN'T PASS THE TEST. MY ONLY HOPE WAS BANNED. I cried and cried and cried....My mother gave me a sleeping pill because I was unable to sleep due to trauma. I was unable to think even, it was like my life had ended. There was nothing forward I could see.
After two days when I was still in deep sorrow, my father had a car accident. That day was even more painful than my test day. I couldn't remember anything of my own. Irrespective of the fact, I was not granted freedom by them. But I loved him anyway, he was my father. He was in ICU and I still remember praying to God and crying bitterly. I was crying for his life, I promised GOD that I'd be grateful for whatever HE has granted me with, I will not complain. After a few days, my father started to recover THANK GOD). He came back to his home , and was still on bed rest. I was quiet and he noticed my silence, and How????? I don't know till date, believe me. He filled my documents for admission in one of the universities of Lahore and I didn't know. Yes!!! Lahore! where I wanted to go since I remembered. I got my admission in Pharm D on merit, among top 10 names and I didn't know. I still remember, my dad called me in his room, he showed me the list and I was WONDERED!!! literally!! I cried again, as I cry in every situation being an emotional girl. I kissed him ,thanked him. How much I could.
Then he took me to Lahore with pain in his back, found a hotel for me and granted me my independent life ahead and left for home again. I was still in shock. He was that father who never allowed me to go out alone and then, he gave me my life. Then I realized, it was me who misunderstood him and my mother. It was me who misunderstood life. It was me who misunderstood GOD's Plan. Then I came to know that life has one day against you and the other day in favor of you. When it goes against you, you should be patient, and when it is in favor of you, you should be Thankful.
Since then, it's been 4 years now. I am in Lahore. I love my life, I go out with my friends, I dress as I like, I eat what I like, I live life on my own terms, I did whatever I wanted to do since forever. Now, I make decisions for myself, I am a grown up. GOD was listening to me when I cried in front of HIM that I really want to go to Lahore to study. I never believed how it all happened in a blink of an eye. God fulfilled my wish and filled my heart with love for my parents at the same time. How?? I don't know. They are all HIS plans.
Live it like a game, so you always win it.